.........Kreative.Karma.........

Think We Had It. All.

2011-12-06T14:06:00.000-08:00

As soon as the feeling, the pain or the word
I'll be there for you, and I'll fly like a bird
I'll keep you calm, and just let you be
Constantly touching, but leave you feeling free
With our lives quickly changing, and forever not alone
We'll get you to aid, as you'll get into your zone
Me right by your side, and our miracle on the way
Smiling at you, letting you know you're doing okay
At that single moment, when you think you've heard a stir
They'll give you your bundle, as the past becomes a blur
We will share this forever, and the moment everlasting
When we think we had it all, we weren't at all forecasting
And when the world seems to shut, and just plain annoy
This life comes along, and never forget to enjoy

Future.Plans.

2011-11-14T12:18:00.000-08:00

It's not the way that this all feels,
Or your heart beating just like mine,
It's the way we see and think and speak in time

Don't take life like you can plan for tomorrow
Jotting things down that won't get done
Live for the day, the moment, that pleasant special one

Cry with tears of joy until it just plain hurts
Gasping for breath at the tickle of your skin
Laugh as much as you can, and love the dimples on your chin

The life we spend will be the best we never knew
One of a missing peice, when the puzzle looked right
We'll go on together, for the past can't put up a fight

Always embrace the ones that love you more
Forget the ones that harm you, or talk you down to their level
Trust in yourself and us, and never believe the devil

Lead our lives to better understand
It's not about money, or the wanting of more
The life we live and our family, will show us what's in store

Dreams. Corroded.

2011-09-28T08:21:00.000-07:00

The feeling you give me isn't at all what I predicted
If you could write it all down, it couldn't be scripted
When the winds blow me down, I know that I'll be lifted
And when life comes around, the present will be gifted

When I wake from a dream, and the sheets go cold
I realize that I'm awake, and my sleep has been sold
To the night I owe my thoughts, turning silver into gold
Falling back into my head, where the pillow starts to fold

While we live to love, and love those around us
It's what we make of ourselves, and those that surround us
Some we'll love forever, others will hurt and astound us
Be grateful for everyone, those are the ones that found us

When life can lead you down a broken bitter road
Remember what you've learned, and to lighten up your load
Put the pain behind you, and on your sleeve bestowed
For the journey we've endured, others can't corrode

.Love You Can't Destroy.

2011-07-01T11:32:00.000-07:00

Is it the way we view life, or just the past that makes us learn
Could it be the future shouting for us, as we take a wrong turn
Maybe the seasons reminding us, that we'll have to see the rain
Or the fog in the morning, just hiding all our pain
Or the way our blood flows, it's a constant reminder
Our hands showing us, that we can be kinder
Always be the happiest, and be sure to show others
Treat everyone like your own, sisters and brothers
Our lives are different, unique and not simple
But none can cure the worst, with just a smile and a dimple
You can waste away in drama, and pointless confusion
Only treat it as fuel, to light up your illusion
The pain we've been put through, putting up with the fake
It's all but a joke, as it puts icing on our cake
Friends take what they will, but leave without a dent
Life is a lesson, and we'll never know what it meant
All the time we have left, is here to enjoy
And the sun reminds us, that it's love you can't destroy

Steps In Gravel..

2011-04-28T08:26:00.000-07:00

The steps I take, aren't the ones on you
Or the friends I've made, the past hard is to chew
The pain that's inflicted, will never be revenged
We'll take it as we venture, it's sure to be syringed
The lack of support, or acceptance of our love
May it be jealousy, as we look down from above
Envy will ruin, from the veins that they flow
Nobody can compare, or judge love from long ago
On the perch of it all, may it be real as ever
This is only our life, and everything we endeavour
We can't make up minds, nor do we want to alter
As real as ever, the truth we will not falter
Accept it as you will, but we will never pause
The love of it all, and not hate was the cause
As we continue to grow, this road of love that we travel
May it be filled with all the greatest, and very little gravel..

The Mind. Left Behind.

2011-03-08T07:43:00.000-08:00

I've been trapped, I've been laid out
Felt like all I had was but a voice to shout
I've gotten my feelings to the surface
Not under my skin, I now know my purpose
Bring what you want, it's dirt under the table
Read into what you like, it's all but a fable
The true story of them all, without any lies
Touching this skin, and looking at my eyes
I have all I need, no reason for my tears
Only those of joy, when I'm spent with my peers
I may seem to go crazy, to those I don't know
But to them they can't see, just how far I go
What I've thought, would drown those who hate
But from where I've been, the top feels so great
When I feel like I'm down, it will never compare
The pain is gone now, I've never felt so rare
Can't wait to see, just where this life will take me
To those whom I hold close, you are the ones that make me
I've left behind, what I thought was real
Never once did I think, it was this I could feel..

Hiding From Your Lies.

2011-01-21T10:14:00.001-08:00

It’s been a little bit, since I’ve typed my feelings out
Never forgotten what I do, and what it’s all about
Getting more in touch, falling ever so deeper
The wind speeds are deafening, as this hill is getting steeper
The days that I’ve lived, I can never take them back
We think we don’t hold grudges, but this is what we lack
Understanding other views, and the way people see
We lock ourselves up, without giving away the key
I’ve known from this, and what I’d like to assert
You will only seem arrogant, and out of waste that you will hurt
The bad feelings I have, will never go away
The memories I cherish now, forever they will stay
Life is harsh, but it can be nicer
As it holds the knife, forever as the slicer
Always treat great, to the ones that are close
If you dare poison them, life will give you a dose
When you’re not looking, before which you can blink
It will hit you like a train, and you won’t know what to think
Everything’s in this world, to help you realize
You can’t hide from anything, when you’re hiding from your lies..

Don't Be..

2010-12-10T08:05:00.000-08:00

Don’t be the bus, or the one to throw me under
The one to strike lighting, or damage with thunder
I love who you are, but I’ll always make you wonder

Don’t be the leak, on the stainless kitchen sink
The drip on the faucet, or the hose that has a kink
Just be that puddle, who’s much deeper than I think

Don’t be the friend, always holding a knife
Ready to puncture, and maybe take my life
Just please hold my hand, and help me through the strife

Don’t be who you aren’t, it’s not easy being fake
I’ll love quicker if you’re you, those soft hands I will take
Tell yourself you’re loved, and all the sweet dreams we will make..

Between the Lines

2010-12-10T08:03:00.001-08:00

As the pen in my head writes, the last page’s not the end
At the beginning of this page, you were just a friend
My life’s been quite rocky, but I’ve never been wrecked
Just fuckin’ shoved to the side, and forced to love the neglect
Light at the end of the tunnel, that was my final goal
But around you I travel warp speed, going through a wormhole
The end of this pen is great, it comes with an eraser
Just take away all the things she did, I no longer have to face her
With us, I see no break or ending in our sights
Aiming for the stars, hope love’s not afraid of heights
Brighter than the sun, we need our shades
For the past is just like now, as it never fades
Lay it all down, this heart of diamond as it shines
Just like a deck of cards, we read between the lines
Nothing but truth, not a thing to hide
A hand to hold, forever by your side
If you could have everything, it’s all that I would give
Wouldn’t pass it up, this life I'd love to live..

Life's Wheel You Can Steer

2010-10-26T11:44:00.000-07:00

Please hold me as I’m terrified to death
My chest hit hard, and I’m losing all my breath
My head is throbbing, blood slowing in my veins
My mind a clap of thunder, in my eyes here come the rains
My heart wrapped up in you, just never break this seal
Spend forever with me, and we’ll have the best damn deal
Side by side, with the sun in our face
Holding hands, as the road paves our ways
Please don’t keep it from me, whatever you hide
I’m as open as the sky, as it’s you I will provide
Never let go, don’t you ever back down
I don't know how to deal with me, without you around
You’re the touch on my skin, the fingers in my hair
You make it all seem right, make it easy not to care
I want you to stay; I need you with me here
Come take me away, my life’s wheel you can steer
And when all is said and done, this body goes to dust
I’ll still be in love, like when you showed me true lust
A spirit of the world, an explosion in your heart
Makes you wonder how we came, and how we knew from the start

Pages Unwritten..

2010-10-19T07:00:00.000-07:00

Please don’t take me away from this life
Just strip me down and save my back from her knife
Put me up somewhere, where I can just hide
And we can hold onto what we have, and never leave our side
Don’t think of the impossible, which right now would be the end
With what we have going, death couldn’t stop what we started as, friend
Let’s run away, and never think of coming back
This past is just a big fucking numbing fact
We don’t want anything, but to spread love abroad
Endless roads, just two peas in a pod
The faces you love, and the faces you create
Just makes me laugh and realize, you’re an awesome life-mate
And as the clock keeps ticking, we’ll keep talking
As the road paves our way, we’ll keep on walking
Hand in hand, and step by step
No shoulders needed to cry or tears to be wept
The book that we write, a pure fairy tale
As the love that we make, will never go stale
I just can’t wait, the future isn’t ready
The rocket ship we’re on, it’s burning fuel steady
Looking down at everything, and all that we’ve done
Never looking back, because with us it’s just fun
The wings that make us soar, will only take us higher
With the obsession that we have, nothing will douse our fire
And through our looking glass, we can only see so far
But so drunk in love, we’ll never need a bar
And when you’re distant, you’re only just closer
The drum in my heart, the soul to my composer
As I’ll never forget, your precious face and cute Toree
We have never ending ink, to go with this perfect love story

Electric Words on Fire..

2010-09-15T13:11:00.000-07:00

It’s been a few months, but how I’ll never retrace
The lines on this paper, aim straight for your face
The words I use, can cut through your skin
How I can’t forget, hope it won’t happen again
The love that I have, is one hard to handle
So much at stake in life, too rough for a sandal
The footsteps I make, are ones that make you tremble
The memories I share, can crash you like cymbal
My legs may be bruised from surely moving on
And the thoughts I can’t shake, will smoothly be gone
I wish for the best, but only for me
As I’m what matters now, can’t wait for you to see
Listen to the sirens, don’t care about this
I’ll be happy when I’m gone, but this life is what I’ll miss
Get ready for life, and all the small worries
The worst is over now, the big is just flurries
This globe that you know, and how you love to shake it
I’ll be looking from the outside, knowing it’s you that loved to fake it
Where this road takes me, I just can’t wait
The forks that I see, I’ve got to trust fate
I’ve burned all of my bridges, cut my damned losses
Forgot about your sickness, how it is was so fucking nauseous
To my life as a whole, a clock I would never turn back
I ended up here for a reason, a sprout of grass through a concrete crack
With my heart on fire, a soul with such a blaze
How I want to feel like this forever, please grant me endless days
This tunnel’s just a ride now, and oh such a thrill
It’s so electric now, and you’re to pay the bill
So excited, so anxious for this new side of me
The walls go tumbling, and collide with the free
This end is near, but it’s just another writing
What’s next in store, making damn sure it isn’t fighting..

Feelings Never Die..

2010-08-31T06:17:00.000-07:00

Through all this pain, killing and strife
I found myself coming out, with more than just life
Meeting a person, wouldn’t have felt right
Only this one had the courage, to stand and hold the light
To teach and to learn, that feeling never dies
Realizing how I loved you from another, would make you realize
This one could make me smile, when times got pretty rough
She’s been through a little more; her life’s a bit more tough
Knowing she made it out, with a few bumps and bruises
Gives me hope and faith, that in life no one loses
Far enough away, but not too far to listen
She’ll put sun in your day, the way her eyes glisten
A good morning greeting, for a good start
Wants to share life’s stories, and drama from the heart
Caring for a stranger, she knows through my writing
Stories of hate I share, so sick of the fighting
Brighten my day, and sure keeps me busy
When I think about her, it could make you go dizzy
The company I have, so far far away
I’ve got a listener, just hope it will stay
To help climb the walls, of this obstacle life
Say everything’s fine, put down the bloody knife
The light she gives off, is enough to see the end
So glad that it’s there, this heart’s about to mend
She’ll switch your mood, like you’re on pms
Make you feel comfort again, and nothing else less
The light in the dark, the faith in my mind
Hoping what’s out there, we hope we’ll soon find
To be happier than ever, our dreams will come true
There’s someone for everyone, and it’s long overdue
Her voice will wake you with peace, so soft and serene
The calmness in her words, so nervous, yet clean
Picked up my heart, shoved it in my chest
Want a good friend, she will sure be the best..
Hope you liked your poem, as it could’ve been brighter
Lucky for you, I’m one hell of a writer

That's A Must..

2010-08-30T14:47:00.001-07:00

Did you ever think you’d be more than you thought
Or put up a better fight than you ever could have fought?
No turning back, from the times that made you cry
No more feeling lost inside, and feeling like you’ll die
Get out of the cage that held you, don’t sit back and just watch
As you’re just another peg, another hole for the notch
Be your own, you are loved for who you are
A perfect example, of a shining shooting star
Don’t let the past, keep you from what’s real
That fake ass drama’s not worth it, and that’s a no-deal
Just keep walking, while they crawl so far behind
I can take you to the clouds and nowhere will they find
They can never touch, what has never been fake
All the pain that we have, is what they could never take
The moments we have, all the times that we’ve shared
The people didn’t matter, but wanted to seem like they cared
They want what we have, all so fucking jealous
Never even touch what this is; you’d have to just kill us
Like the buttons to my board, they feel more than I think
Just a shot from this relationship, it will knock you on your ass
The past is what you’ll drink, so full with shards of glass
I’m no longer hurt, but so over this phase
As you’ve brought me to the end, this tiring fucking maze
As I move on now, I’ll take along trust
And by my side is you, as you know that’s a must

Thanks.

2010-08-26T11:45:00.000-07:00

I’ll start this off, by thinking just a little
Open up this bag, like a wild berry skittle
The words I write, they won’t always make sense
But that’s because you’re left, on the outside of the fence
Not even to get in, but just to unlock
You can think of your past, in my mind you’re but a block
For all that’s been done, to everything I gave
You can burn in your actions, please take them to your grave
I found a person, one who showed me who you weren’t
All your lying letters, and your fake words are fucking burnt
I don’t need reminders, I even hate the thought
Keep outside of this, what I love is all I’ve got
I did nothing, to deserve what you’ve done
But I do deserve this, a small preview all for fun
I see through what I feel, and feel what is better
When I look down at you, your eyes are much wetter
Stained glass, while I sit clear and shine
The words I hear now, this truth is just fine
Although you can’t come close, because I can’t explain
The shit you did, meds did nothing, as she took away my pain
She took it all and threw it to the clouds
As we sit on top and look down at your crowds
The empty feeling shouldn’t fade, even just a bit
Should’ve never turned your back, and never said you quit
At least since you did, I am where I’m at
I couldn’t see it coming, just a baseball to a bat
The girl I thought you were, is still the one in my dream
I’ll find her soon, as she’s the voice to my scream
When all is said and done, just hope it’s a gun with blanks
As the blast goes off, pull the trigger, say thanks..

Graceful..Love..

2010-08-17T10:27:00.000-07:00

I love how I can smile; I love how I can feel
It’s only been a while, but oh how time can heal
I love the way we talk, I love the way we stare
My other foot when I walk, with that little extra care
I love my view; I love where I’ve ended
It’s all brand new, and it’s all so splendid
I love your touch, I love this machine
Want it so much, a start so clean
I love all of this; I love what I can’t explain
It’s simple bliss, something I can’t contain
I love your hair, I love those sweet eyes
It’s you I could wear, no more sinning little lies
I love being strong, I love our road
To look where we’ve gone, it’s our secret code
I love our mixture, I love that taste
What a sweet picture, it’s one I’d never waste
I love your hold, I love your kisses
It’s the feel of pure gold; it’s the penny to my wishes
I love our times, I love our embrace
Out of all of my rhymes, you are God’s sweet grace

At Least There's A Light..

2010-08-02T13:14:00.001-07:00

With a life so fragile, a life so sweet
I could bury myself under one fine sheet
To forget all the bad, we just want it all gone
They stick around as scars, like the ugly duckling to the swan
We have to collect faith, we so need to believe
There is more than what this eye, wants me to receive
Friends are my angels, the ghosts of my smile
Where have they all gone, I’ve needed them for a while
The support to this life, the stone to my step
Helped rid these demons, under the rug that I’ve swept
These bones are so brittle, but this heart is much stronger
Through the things that you did, won’t happen any longer
I’m one of my own, a soul to this Earth
Out of the millions that aren’t, I’ve been real since my birth
Walking down a road, my direction looks bright
This tunnel so long, but at least there’s a light
Shown all of the good, and much of the bad
My sleeves won’t wear a heart, as that was all a fad
I keep on running, and I keep on going
Your reasons are my fuel, without me ever knowing
Tear down your walls, thought about yourself long enough
Throw it all away like me, how could you do all that stuff
I’ve come to terms, as you’re so full of pure hate
These lessons were essential, but don’t consider them great
You have no idea, just exactly what you’ve done
But I’ll take what you’ve left me, and lift off to the sun
You may never again see, the love from my face
But I hope you’re happy, as you’ve put yourself in this place
I will be close, but you won’t be near
As all of these voices are all that I hear
Ones that encourage, and strive for more
At least there’s that light, and an unlocked door

Broke in Two..

2010-07-27T10:09:00.000-07:00

After all of this time, you finally regret
But with all of my questions, I continue to fret
And when I sleep at night, I can’t close my lid
I’m burning alive, thoughts from all that you did
No past with the present, simply can’t turn back
You were my little girl, now it this all of you that I lack
There’s no undo button, in this game we call life
And I don’t want to end up, getting more cuts from your knife
You stabbed me barely breathing, as you left me for dead
I want you in, but I just can’t stand it, always fucking with my head
You’re in too deep, and there’s not much to say
Just hope you’re happy, because lies are where you lay
I wish you would’ve thought about, just what you had coming
As my body is torn, and my feeling’s are numbing
Couldn’t help but think that we might’ve had a chance
After all the bad and just plain wrong, it’s you I can’t glance
I want to believe, but this life is for me
Wanted it forever with you, you didn’t want it to be
Moving along, a baby step everyday
I can think what if, but I’d have too much to say
Won’t let myself fall, tired of the way my heart slips
On the face that I loved, and the feel of your lips
You were almost the reason, this heart stopped beating
As you were nowhere near, and it was you that I was needing
All that we wanted, was all that we had
Don’t know all you did, just know that it’s sad
You went from so loving, to just plain hateful
I was so happy in love, and you were ungrateful
I wanted it all, all of it with just you
But you ripped out my heart; and tore it in fucking two

Piece of You..Peace for Me

2010-07-21T10:44:00.001-07:00

If for one day I could take with me a piece of you
I’d write a little note, to tell you what I’d do
First thing in the morning I would awake with a kiss
Uncover so lightly, so sleep you wouldn’t miss
Dress up in my clothes, and stick you in my pocket
As if I were still a kid, and treat you like my locket
Take you to places that you could only wonder
And dream of the future, all one big blunder
Check on you often, to make sure you’re close
You will walk by my side, as if no one knows
When I’d lie down, to just take a nap
I would dream of you, on my mind like a cap
Feeling so alive with so little of this
Time is on my watch, but you are on my wrist
And when I come home I won’t set you aside
This roller coaster of life, I’ll always want to ride
I’ll wipe my tears with you, and get it all out
Soaking wet you’ll make me smile, and that I’d never doubt
Once the world tumbles, I’ll see it and shrug
Just take you out, and forget with a hug
I’ll lose myself with you; I can just see it now
I’ll always keep you near, and this I can vow
No matter where I go, or the places that I see
You’ll stay on my mind, and on my hand you will be
As time has passed, and the day’s almost dead
I’ll take everything off, and take you to bed
Calm it all down, as busy as it seems
I can’t see you, but I know you’re in dreams
This is where it all, just goes and drifts away
But right here by me, this is where you’ll stay

A Late Update..

2010-07-21T07:47:00.000-07:00

I haven’t been on here, as I just wanted to sink
But I had to let you know, just what it is that I think
I share all my dreams; I’ll give you my thoughts
Read them with care, but love all of them lots
This is me, and all of who I am
Some can hate it, but they’re just a scam
This place is where I come, to open my heart
I was just writing, did not know what I'd start
And when you feel, just like I do
Come to this place, and find back you
Only a handful know, and fewer even care
It started as stitches, to heal up this tear
What you do with it, just respect what I write
And after it all, please have a goodnight
I write to express, and simply to release
You feel like a fold, but what you are is a crease
Unravel from your head, goes down to you toes
As I keep writing these, you’ll find out my foes
You’ll learn about me, how far I have come
How distant I am, while you still feel numb
Leaving alone, all the anger and fears
Smiling in hell, as my heart just sears
Finding a lot, not looking for it all
Just want to be happy, still climbing that wall
Enjoying my life, as it could soon end
My past isn’t that, just more like pretend
People are evil, but life’s full of joy
So please come back, when feeling empty is your ploy
I can make smiles, I can help without speech
I can learn like you, but with these words I can teach..

Life. Left. Ahead.

2010-07-20T12:39:00.000-07:00

What just is it, that you see in me?
What makes your life brighter, when it’s me that you see?
With a past so morbid, my life is on the edge
I can feel your breeze now, so lonely on this ledge
Your hair blows genlty, on this ripped and shattered face
Will you please come take me, and just save me from this place?
To the heavens above, where life can seem so small
What has happened to me, not what I wanted at all
But I now am someone, who could never be built
All the people who created this, so full of fucking guilt
Just take me as I am, if you hate it, just leave
No more lies, for me you will not deceive
Please don’t be like anyone, that I have ever met
The ones who have hurt, this life they will not get
My life in the world’s hands, all grasped so tightly
When it’s gone I’ll be in the stars, which you will see nightly
I want to figure out, what life’s planned ahead
The scars prevent, damage, and hurt from what she said
I’ve been blessed with this life; it’s one that can’t be explained
With these feelings from my heart, they no longer can be detained
Such a beautiful world, that arose from the ashes
A heart patched up, no longer torn from the crashes
What I have to show, will for sure gain trust
And what I have to offer, will forever spread lust
When this life is over, and it’s all said and done
Know that it was filled by authentic love and pure fun
What life lies ahead, you can dream all you want
All that I ask is open your eyes, and it’ll be in front
This life is not fragile; I’ve known it as tough
And the day that I die, I still won’t have enough
Beautiful faces, of whom I will touch
Just know that I’m here for you, I’ll be your strong crutch..

Lifesize Shoes..

2010-07-01T14:06:00.001-07:00

Put your dance shoes on
It won’t take long
We’re running from dreams
And everything around us will just burst at the seams

Just worry about your smile
Don’t let it go, keep it for a while
What we’ll do, such a fucking blast
And when life’s done, we’ll be laughing at last

All over this town, I know I will paint
Keep the memories fresh, and the past so faint
Tie your laces up tight
Where we’ll go is just a preview, because there’s no end in sight

With the truth to ride us out
We’ll be good beyond a doubt
But when you think you can’t grin
Just think of all the people, who are all so full of sin

Make sure you have socks
As I’m sure we’ll hit rocks
And when you can’t go
I’ll sweep you off your feet, much quicker than you know

When it comes time to take off your shoes
Just make sure you’ve paid dues
Take them off; I’ll put them to rest
I’ll see you in heaven, we’ll sleep in peace, you’re always my best..

Shed Not A Tear..

2010-06-30T11:21:00.000-07:00

Please cut my heart open, and love as it bleeds
Sever my arm, so full of hearts on my sleeves
I want to go to sleep, and almost forever
To not wake up, a feeling I want never
These veins are blue, only for a reason
Because of this all, still nothing but treason
Slit through my throat, and stabbed in the back
I want all I was, still building my stack
It tumbled for you, but never again
Throw myself out there, life’s game I will win
Mind is in trembles, a heart of a mess
I’ll tear down these walls, and these lives I will bless
The scars of the dead, this tissue is strong
I want to rip through it, now that you’re gone
I need to feel this feeling, of being so right
You kept me from everything, but now seeing the light
I have some care now, just hope it will stay
The sun’s coming out, no more skies of gray
The ghosts of my night, come greet me at last
This house of a dream, now nightmares of past
How I want moments, to just never come
I’d stop them all, I just don’t know where from
All of my life, I just want to smile
This feeling I get, it’s been a long while
The tingles, the touch, I’ve missed all of this
How my heart is now open, but sealed with a kiss
I’ve got this body, just so full of song
But my nails are torn off, from just hanging on
A head that was hot, now a heart that’s so heated
I’ll never be like that, the one who fucking cheated
I want to smile, I’m about to explode
A life full of joy, a trip that you've rode
I love who I am, I love all who are here
I can cry for them, but for you not a tear

Next Chapter..

2010-06-28T12:55:00.000-07:00

Broken on the inside, bruised on the out
Tell me your sweet dreams, and what they’re all about
Glitter my soul, with your gentle kind words
Fly together through life, spread wings like birds
A fantasy so real, all we need is to believe
All of my hopes that you’ll try to conceive
I’ve got a handful for you, with love never-ending
My letters of amazing, I’ll keep on sending
A smile on your face, my reason for living
The appreciation I get, I’ll keep on giving
You’re a light in my tunnel, a hug to my kiss
No pinpointing here, unexplainable is this
You give me a reason, to once again feel
I put my heart out there; all that’s left is to steal
I won’t cut you open, or tear apart your scars
I could caress you down, to the sound of passing cars
A life so fragile, with eyes so sweet
They cut me so soft, but without a defeat
I’ll open my gates, and let you through
Just know that it’s tough, but not without you
Time is forever, we can outlast it all
When we live on the edge, together we’ll fall
When you’re not in sight, you’re still in my heart
And how we will never, feel too far apart
Please don’t let go, I’m almost near the top
I can’t help my feelings, and I don’t want to stop
I can’t help the now, but I hope for the after
My life is my book, and I’m ready for the next chapter..

Well Deserved..

2010-06-25T10:58:00.000-07:00

You can look for a sign
I’m right here, so hard to find
I’ll scream in your dreams
Tear your heart at the seams
Flip you head over heels
This is how miserable feels
No longer will I have it
Get rid of this bad habit
Get this stench out of the air
This life isn’t at all fucking fair
I’ll move along please just let me
Dropped to the side, someone come get me
I’ll find myself likable
What you crushed, not recyclable
Open my eyes and spread my wings
Life on top with all of the kings
Fucked up my trust
So move on I must
I’ll live free, with no worries
Your heart so cold and full of flurries
My love is gentle, oh so kind
What you did now, I hate to rewind
Walk on don’t look back
Never pick up any of your slack
In need of a hand
A feeling I can’t stand
You dried me up
Emptied my cup
I don’t know how to get wetter
But I do know now, that I deserve better

Forever. Eyes.

2010-06-21T10:56:00.001-07:00

Ever felt like you’re alone and so cold
Like you just woke up, so tired of being what you’re told
Escape your life, just to get out
Because what you want, is what you cannot doubt
Go away to a place, so safe, so sound
No troubles at all, just a leap and bound
Feel what you want, but want what you can’t
Don’t let it drag you down, grow your roots like a plant
Blossom so bright, so tall and strong
As what you feel, is every which way but wrong
Ever feel like the world is coming down
Crushing over you, don’t let it bend your crown
You’re out on top, but with a feeling so lonely
In a world full of life, you feel like you’re the only
Please don’t cry, don’t make me shed a tear
The fairest of them all and I do not need a mirror
I know what is right; I feel what I can’t explain
A head full of thunder, and a heart so full of rain
Ever want to drop, and fall off the face of Earth
Feel so ashamed, and so low on your worth
So worn out, and need a change of shoes
Only you walking in them, and a heart with all the clues
Just a stained glass, so dark, but bright
Please give me deserving, just show me a light
When everyone is down on you, pick yourself up
A soul so empty, you need to fill your cup
Move along with your dreams; look up to your hopes
A heart full of knots, with everyone holding the ropes
Ever feel, or just never wanted to at all
A life so precious, you’ll break if you fall
Just keep in mind, I’ll be here
And when you feel that again, just know I'm near
I will not forget, just what it is you do
Know that my eyes are so looking out for you

Heart of Walls..

2010-06-21T07:54:00.000-07:00

Did you really want me gone, or to be there for you
After you left me, couldn’t tell you what I went through
Wanting what you didn’t, I was sleeping in a dream
How our past was so special, a perfect future it did seem
Through all of your lies, I cut through like a friend
I lived through this alone, and when close was the end
I’m out on top, but so scarred from how you ripped
Like I’m back from the dead, my soul is but a crypt
Filling full of life, I will let it flow over
I can live with my destiny, and I don’t need your clover
So lucky inside, I feel the love around
Smell of fresh starts, a voice so sweet of sound
Where will I go, you’ve left me behind
Pick up where I’m at, a goal of love I will find
A hand to hold, with lips to kiss
You can’t force the feeling, of absolute bliss
Can’t help my feelings, this side of me is true
I trusted my heart, as you broke it in two
So fake to my face, you waited to hurt
Kicked to the side, and thrown in the dirt
All of my issues, with love and with trust
Built up my walls, keeping my heart from this rust
Learning how to live, without someone like you
I can never forget my past, and how you filled it with blue
Although I’ve found something, along my rocky way
I can hope it doesn’t go, and so decides to stay
It’s my own little secret, my hearts hidden treasure
The feelings you built, cannot simply measure
As I hope to disappear, you’ll still continue to feel
I hope you found this worth it, as you’ve no time to heal
No rush in my life, I’ve got all the time
Punish me you will, deserving it a crime
I’m better than that; you don’t know who I am
Doors open to heaven, and those I won’t let you slam

Hopeless Heart

2010-06-11T08:02:00.000-07:00

With a touch of your hand, a look in your eyes
You can break me down so fast, and make me realize
What is real, is so far from fake
I’ll give you my heart, and these tears you can take
Please stitch me up, in need of a friend
I want more in this life, but don’t want it to end
My moments they come, but I want them to go
When I’m not with you, rock bottom’s so low
I’d run to the light, if I just had a heart
Pick me up now, and please show me a start
Legs are so sore, moving on and walking
Break down my walls, and don’t stop talking
Don’t deserve my past, but I’m ready for the better
Take me from here, along with this letter
My spirits are low, but my hope is so high
Beautiful words, but never tell me a lie
I’ve opened up now, my life is a book
Fill my life again, so sorry for what she took
All but scars, some scrapes, a big cut
Doors wide open, and it will never again shut
I’m loved for me, but I sure don’t love me
Stricken with lies, I just want to be free
With my heart on the line, so scared to death
I’ll take a big gasp, and with one last breath
Give what I’ve got, much more than enough
A heart so empty, but so full of love

Afraid to Fade..

2010-06-09T06:46:00.000-07:00

The moments we share, the times we’ve played
Please don’t pause, I'm afraid to fade
Our hands fit, like a missing piece
Life’s little puzzle, amaze and never cease
The air around, so clear and bright
Bring it back with you, when you’re more in sight
Bring it all back; just bring it back to me
All the things you want, is everything you see
Free your mind, open your wings and take flight
Take all the sun from today, I’m on the moon tonight
Sleeping alone, gravity floats me out of this crater
I’m looking down, and I see nothing greater
Happy faces, I’ll keep on going
Can’t knock this wall down, but keep on blowing
Don’t ever want to feel again, how you did me wrong
I’ll never listen, so deaf, to what is our song
Just take what you’ve got, please no more
I’ve opened up wide, scars fucking sore
A heart rebuilding, long after the storm
Everyone knew, I was the last you’d inform
No second chances so look back, and simply wonder
How my head felt, my body sucked under
I can’t explain to anyone, this feeling of bliss
It’s all coming back, and me you’ll miss
Gave up on our life, forfeited this chance
I know that I am real, while you’re fake at first glance
I’ve got something back, never thought I’d get
Wipe my face clean, from the sour taste of your spit
I’ll sharpen my skills, along with this blade
Fearless forever, I’m not afraid to fade..

Could've Been

2010-06-07T20:41:00.000-07:00

Liquified like a blender, all mixed in my head
From all that you've done, and the words that you said
Now when will I see you, I don't really know
You were always a friend, where did you go
Hoping for a day, when my feelings come back
So happy I'm alive, after this brutal attack
Maybe I can try, hope to move along
As I would've loved anything, but for you to be gone
I'll tell you what I think, but you won't even care
I'd open my heart, but it is with this tear
It'll take a toll on you, by taking me away
You can forget all the times, but I'm here to stay
Wanting to be closer, and for you to understand
Pushing me away, a love forever banned
Breaking me down, pulling at the seams
Loving life without you, is now nothing but dreams
Don't know when, I've taken enough
But second thought yourself, it could've been love

Midnight Ponders.

2010-06-07T20:26:00.000-07:00

Tonight I sat, and thought for a while
The past put me down, but the future makes me smile
But when the candle burns out, and there's no light
I've done all I can, You've made me give up this fight
I can't be your friend, it will mean too much
Your skin I'll want to smell, and face I'll want to touch
You made it hard, to say what's on my mind,
You've slowed me down, running a little behind
Can't believe why I put up with what you knew
But realizing your love, was anything but true
Life is really different, without your attention
No one is here, just solitaire detention
Sunken into this, takes a while to get out
You put me on this road, I have no other route
Shining my own light, it's not bright enough
Getting kind of scared, but I've gotta be tough
I was a reason to live, what all did you do
Wish I could show you what the hell I've been through
I wanted you here, wanted you to care
Instead, I was wasted, so lonely and bare
Like our bodies, they used to be together
How I wanted these moments, just to last forever
The feel of your lips, the want of a kiss
I wanted love, but sure wasn't this..
Nobody knows, just what's in my head
For you are now done, that's the most that you've said

Happily Ever..

2010-06-07T13:58:00.001-07:00

I can’t sleep in a bed, next to me there’s a hole
Can’t speak to the person, or my heart they stole
Struggling for answers, I’ve solved on my own
I’ve taught myself better, a whole body of stone
I’ve got my mind loaded, my ammo packed tight
Wisdom will lead you, to be afraid of the light
That tunnel is dark, the walls built up high
My life is much brighter, now that I get to fly
I can help ones close, they know who they are
They mean the world, but not in yours by far
Got my laces on, I’ve tied both shoes
I’ll walk away, as I’ve paid my dues
Trip, tumble, and fall down once again
I can’t help like you want, as you’ve thrown me in
Had it out for me, you saw this coming
Now I’m in the light, can you feel yourself numbing?
I’ve had my eyes opened, they’re practically pried
But only I can blink, and shut out how you lied
Turn the other way, I can see hindsight
I’ve got the mirrors now, and no more blindsight
A new life in my arms, the world is now mine
I’ve been shown the greatest, no more need for a sign
I can’t explain how, or the way that I feel
No one can understand, and that’s the best seal
I know what’s true; I know what I’ve found
How it makes me feel true, what a beautiful sound
How it can make you crumble, and buckle at the knees
This feeling that I have, and the soul that it frees
As time will only tell, this story made of scars
I will show them all, and break down all of my bars
The one that can do this, no one will compare
I could lay all day, and just simply stare
I think I can go, and come down from the rafters
I’m ready for mine, and all the happily ever afters..

Feeling & Healing

2010-06-02T08:59:00.000-07:00

So lost in it all, but I know how to smile
What I wouldn’t give, to have the heart of a child
I’d show you how I feel, but I don’t want to twist
That stomach’s tied up, from the way that we kissed
My head is just a puzzle, with all the wrong pieces
Nothing ever died off, the way we click just increases
If I could only stop spinning, this sad world on a string
I’d stop it all now, and show you everything
Put stars in your eyes, dimples on your face
Open the gates to this dream, a happy perfect place
Maybe this happened, the last time we spoke
I’m here to help now, to clear up the smoke
I know there’s something here, no way we can’t deny
And I sure don’t want, to say goodbye
All the words on Earth, could never explain
The way the spark lit, under all of that rain
Lay awake, and stare at the ceiling
Never forget that, an unforgettable feeling
Be true to yourself, don’t throw on a cover
One step at a time, one right after the other
Think about you, only your life
It’s yours after all, and worth all of the strife
To learn what you have, take all of the cues
I’ll understand, but I can’t walk in your shoes
Help you on your feet; I know that you’re dizzy
Make your city streets, everything but busy
I’m here all around; I know that you can feel me
I’ll return the favor, oh how you helped to heal me

Precious..

2010-06-01T12:56:00.001-07:00

You sure as hell can’t, predict your own future,
Or add enough paint, to your pretty little picture
What’s left of all that, could only be a fable
Reach inside, and put your heart on the table
You don’t know what you want, until you have all that you don’t
All the diamonds want to shine, if you let them but you won’t
I’ll tear down those ugly walls, and leave you with a roof
Keep it from raining on you, make it happy, be your proof
I can’t say I’ve felt, this way for a while
Never had my face aching, from how you make me smile
The joy that can be brought, all things that I felt
I forgot but never died, loved the way that you smelt
The softness of your damp hair, aroma on your skin
We’re both losing a long race, but together we can win
You can hate the stares, but I’ll look into your eyes
Almost like forever, but how the time flies
You can make me nervous, be a step in my pace
It all tumbles down though, when I look at your face
So true to my words, no room for the lies
Put your guard down, no need for a disguise
I could lay for eternity, so happy, just silent
Get away from the day, and the world that’s so violent
A small dark soul, be the light in my cellar
I’ll remind you of extraordinary, guaranteed to show you stellar
I can’t explain my stomach, just one million butterflies
When I come near you, can’t take my mind off your eyes
You’ve opened my doors, and super-glued the locks
Taken my defense down, no longer concrete blocks
I thought I was done, and kicked to the curb
Given me new hope, and a feeling so superb
I’m here to stay, I’ve learned from my scars
And I don’t need a wish, when your eyes are shooting stars..

Sleepless Bed Of Lies..

2010-05-28T08:03:00.000-07:00

Close my eyes, and try to sleep
Forget about it all, no more need to weep
Try to dream, just like I used to
Mind like my heart, been abused too
Not looking back, but so hard to see ahead
Just want to sleep forever, in a clean conscious bed
Looking back, at how you did me
That night if only, you were trying to kid me
It’s all real now, how do you like it
Racing on by, I’m on the side just going to bike it
Go ahead and do, what you think is so right
Giving all you want, I can no longer fight
This nightmare is real, no need to pinch me
Pushing away, no one will ever again clench me
I’m losing ground; I’m slipping soon to leave
Won’t look into your eyes, all they do is deceive
I can’t sit still, just here to toss and turn
Fire in my heart, kiss the cross and burn
Lay in the ash, a body so dark
As life is a story without a bookmark
I want to close it, along with my mind
As you jet by, I’ll just fly behind
Wish these covers, could hide just what occurred
Think you got it made, get your eyes checked, vision blurred
I think I’m fine, but know that I’m not
Still sleeping on the couch, waiting for feelings to rot
I’m going soon; I’ll no longer be around
Get what you want now; you’re going to lose me and all you found
Trying to fall, not even a twitch
Judge me how you want, but never call you a bitch
I’ll never be back, but that’s how I’ll lay
Do you like you have, I think I’ll be okay
And if I die, before I wake
I pray the Lord, my soul take
For I am so real, can’t even touch fake

Nightmare Reminders

2010-05-25T06:26:00.000-07:00

You’ll take what you want, and you’ll leave me alone
With nothing that I asked for, and you won’t touch the phone
I never wanted this, I can’t stand the change
I have no answers, and you’re nowhere in range
Your life is oh so great, and just so grand
What you did will haunt me, just an ass kicked and canned
The things I’ve heard, versus what I believe
What if I was the heartless one, to pack up and leave
What I gave to you, I’ll never be as kind
To another one so special, likely waiting in line
I’ve awoken to bleeding, and standing up screaming
Oh how I wish, I was all but dreaming
Made me feel secure, and then left with it all
You never came around, just watching while I fall
Not a sorry heart, just empty and hollow
A perfect example, of what I won’t follow
Things you hid, your perfect silent scandal
And how you think this was, just something I could handle
I think I can, if I just make it out alive
My heart is fucking racing, and waiting to arrive
I want my voice back, I want to speak out
From the top of my lungs, to ask everything I doubt
I’d blow out ash, from a heart of fire
I’ll push how I can, this cart of desire
Taking all my faith, holding all my truth
I’ve built up my walls, but you’re still my roof
I know I’m not immortal, but so sensitive
Turning back time, is all that I’d give
I’ve etched you in me, but no heart of stone
Just a lost soul, hopeless and alone
All over this body, you wrote defeated on me
But that will be the last time, you ever cheated on me..

Concrete Ambitions..

2010-05-24T07:18:00.001-07:00

Please help me climb these stairs of hell
So I can shake this curse that came from your spell
These legs are tired, they’ve taken me away
Seems the higher I go, the harder I will lay
I’m climbing to the top, you can pretend to care
Already feel the breeze, and that smell is in the air
It’s all gone like you want, and I couldn’t say a word
I’ll take what you give, and then fly like a bird
Standing on the ledge, as I see all of this dream
How it was all worse, than you ever made it seem
When will you realize, all that has happened?
How you took everything of mine, and all that I imagined
You took it with you, never wanting to be seen
I wouldn’t either though; as your soul cannot be clean
My arms spread wide, my eyes start to close
As the wind holds me up, I’ll lean as it blows
I’m beginning to let go, when all I needed was a hand
You wouldn’t help me at all, too busy with your plan
Starting to slip, I’m so ready to go
I’m so high up, for no longer am I low
As the wind picks up, I know that I am falling
After all this time passed, you’re still not calling
Too late to show it now, and never again
Close your eyes with me, and say an amen
You've shown me enough, all but nothing that I like
The faster this is over, it just reminds me of your strike
I never wanted this, I didn’t want you to quit
No idea it would come to this, along with all the fucking shit
As I go down, I’ll sing you a song
Now you can be happy, just telling him I’m gone
And when I land, it won’t be on my feet
For I am strong, but I'm not concrete

Lost In Sleep..

2010-05-13T08:23:00.000-07:00

What you want, is what you’ll never find
For it is the best thing, that you’ve ever left behind
And when you want to say, all that you want
You’ll need a mirror for me, because I won’t be up front
I’ve done what I can, won’t let me do more
So tired of moving on, these feet are so sore
We’re bound by words, that you turned into glass
Lashing through my heart, how it happened so fast
Like a gunshot, over so quick, but so full of pain
I can wash myself over, but this blood will sure stain
And when you want to help, like you ever did
You can help by digging, and closing the lid
On all the stars, dreams, and the thought of the night
You’ll need to close your eyes, to see what’s right
And with my eyes wide open, I might have to squint
To see where the end is, and see where I went
I can pretend, and I can dream away from here
Life is just my pillow, and I’ll sleep fine my dear

Awake. To. Heartbreak.

2010-05-12T08:35:00.000-07:00

Something’s are never set in stone,
But your feelings are, and this I’ve known
From tears to the fears and all I hear
For all I wanted was someone near
A care, and someone to miss,
Let me know, I need to get used to this
Asleep alone, the ghosts are around
So tired of this, just so dumbfound
I’ll walk these streets, in the pitch black dark
I know where I’m headed, just not ready to park
I’ve paid my toll; I’ve worn through the time
Being punished like this, like I committed a crime
Turning my back, and just looking up
Good luck with all that, getting busy, hooking up
I know you won’t talk, because you’ve got nothing nice
Full of bad news, stay positive, thank God I’m wise
I’m full hearted, so true and full of compassion
Another heart on that sleeve, wear it like it’s a new fashion
I’d be afraid, and be sleeping with the lights on
It’s like a tune in my head, but I can’t find the right song
Just do what you do, while I do me
No one else does it better, and this you’ll see
The hole I’m in, the pain I’ve felt
And how you took my heart, and made it melt
How can I forgive, fuck, how can I lose it
Like a ticking time bomb, and you won’t defuse it
Can’t wait til it goes, I can’t wait til the rain
And it all comes down, just makes you insane
Welcome to my life, wow, what a nice greeting
As this is all I’ve got from you, and this is what you’re feeding

Sunken Sadness Sleeps..

2010-05-11T07:39:00.000-07:00

The bags are packed, I ran out of tries
Friends are gone, I’ve said my goodbyes
Hope your half is greener, as mine’s a shade of blue
Painted with clouds, that all came from you
As the rain comes down, and washes out the bad
You’ll be off, locking out your heart, iron clad
Riding the shoulder of life, just wanting a sign
I’ve been yielding the whole way, on this thin white line
When thunder claps, it feels like my heart
And once I think of you, the skipping will start
Any word you say, is enough for me
But the love I have, has been set free
As I sit in nirvana, from the explosion of hate
I’ll know where I’m at, but no patience for my fate
For all of the if’s, how’s, and if I only knew when
Won’t help me bring back, the taste of soap on your skin
I can daze, forget, and sure as hell dream
It can’t wake me from this nightmare, or vicious fucking scheme
Please shake me, to see if I’m alive
Didn’t know I’d make it out, or even survive
The biggest lesson I’ve learned, I want to forget
To ever love again, this thought is on the shelf to sit
And may the dust pile up, as the sun makes it fade
In the middle of my ocean, I’ll drown in the wave
Thought this was bottom, but now I see rocks
As you find it all useless, the texts, and the talks
Please if you must, drop me off in the deep
Where I can be at peace, and where I can sleep
I don’t want to hurt, but that’s all I can feel
What you’ve done here, want so bad to appeal
You can forget, but you’re my distraction
I’ll always look to you, for my satisfaction
I cannot die, my heart is too strong
A shattered one it may be, but it is never wrong

Forget....

2010-05-11T06:33:00.001-07:00

Forget her name, forget her face,
Forget her kiss, her warm embrace.
Forget the love that you once knew,
Remember she now, has someone new.

Forget her when they play your song,
Forget you cried the whole night long.
Forget when the lights were dim
Remember she has now chosen him.

Forget you memorized her walk,
Forget the way she used to talk
Forget the things she used to say,
Remember now she has gone away.

Forget her laugh, Forget her grin
Forget the dimple on her chin
Forget the way she held you tight
Remember, she's with him tonight.

Forget the time that went so fast
Forget the love that now is past
For she said she'd leave you never,
Remember now she's gone forever.

The Me I'll Never Be

2010-05-05T11:23:00.001-07:00

In the dark, I’ll awake
The nightmare I had, was all but fake
As real as I am, what has been taken
Feelings inside, both stirred and shaken
My bones are dry, my muscles are weak
For what I want, I’ll forever seek
My hands are empty, with no one to hold
With a mind so jaded, but a heart of gold
No one to want it, for they want it nowhere near
Stitch up the skin, and use your words to sear
Skinned up knees, so tired of falling
So close to me, but you’re not calling
Wonder where I went, can’t ponder it enough
I think I’ll just fold, and call you a bluff
Friends until the end, as my body slowly dies
Just throw me under, but close my eyes
For I want to dream, and I want to be free
If I can’t do this, then the me I’ll never be

At Wick's End..

2010-04-30T10:24:00.000-07:00

This hot wax, dripping from life’s candle
Wanting for it to cool, so it’s something I could handle
The light it gives off, the flame that it burns
Like a roller coaster, with the stomachs that it turns
Making me sick, never to stop spinning
At this time, the candle’s the one winning
Burning it all down, as the wax piles
Down to the ground, while taking all the smiles
As you’re the flame, and I’m the wick
I’ll last til the end, and you’ll go out quick
Flicker in the wind, the sweet smell of smoke
Melting at both ends, this middle is broke
Falling off the shelf, setting all ablaze
This fire inside, will be sure to amaze
Everything real, will soon go to ash
Blow away with it all, pour no more fucking gas
I’ve smothered what I have, along with the coals
Bury it deep, inside never ending holes
What I have left, has all but melted
Warm from the heat, but I’ve always felt it
Living in this room, so quiet, so dark
Strong as a stone, all I need is a spark..

Arms Wide Shut.

2010-04-29T11:18:00.000-07:00

Silly smiles and stolen hearts,
How we’ll never learn where love starts
Trashed feelings, and vandalized emotions,
No more tears for our flooded oceans.
Troublemakers and terrorists of this town,
How did we get to this, to be so far down?
Stripped of my lining, and skinned to the bone,
Let me slip away, this house is not a home.
Hollow on the inside, but learning how to feel
While the people outside, are spinning my wheel
Take my dose, and start the day
Pave my road; I’m well on my way
I’ll hang around, but not by a string,
So far away, you won’t feel a thing
The crack in your voice, and the edge of your knife,
This is where I am; the doubt in your life.
Sitting here, drawing pictures of my past,
Think about it, and how nothing good will ever last
The perfect will stay, oh how I wish it would come
So sick of bottled meals, making me feel numb
Under my skin, I feel you still stirring
I’ll cut it out, and keep it from recurring
Don’t want reminders of what I had dreamed
Family, kids, and how perfect it had seemed
Like a gunshot, and the blink of an eye,
A hole in my heart, good God I'm still alive
I don’t want to move, I don’t want to smile,
Don’t want to remember, that sour taste of bile
Sharpen the edge, slow falling, barely loose
Please cut it down, I left my heart on a noose
I’m screaming from the inside, and you’ll now never listen
As it was the one I loved before, that I’m forever missin’

-Broken-Mirrored-Images-

2010-04-28T10:07:00.000-07:00

Distract me from the night
Make me feel right
Take me from here
Show me the light

Please calm my shaking
From all the hurt I’m taking
Wake me from this haunting
And the nightmare she is making

I’ve paved my road with tears
From all the trouble and fears
Finding it not worth it
As she’s the one with broken mirrors

I see myself in mine
To you everything is fine
I’ll go on living
In the sketch of my design

A crumbled letter
From when it was better
I’ll hold it in my hands
And remember when I met her

Angelic Chatter.

2010-04-27T08:52:00.000-07:00

I can only dream of that one perfect place
The one I will be with, not just a pretty face
Eyes of the heavens please open the gates
Footsteps coming closer, my heart beats and waits
What’s in store, please don’t scare me this time
So afraid of life, as my anxiety will climb
What can I do, and who can I trust
I want to give my all, and to be a part of lust
Please hold me back, from doing what I’d like
Showing you who you are will cost, a lifelike turnpike
Always looking forward, without looking back
Keeps me from seeing you, as now you will attack
What we built can never be replaced
I went through the useless with the problems I faced
Seeing my angel, like the light from afar
Just hope it’s not you in an oncoming car
She’ll take me away, where love will be our peace
I’ll be so far gone, for she’ll now be my sweet release
I’ll be myself again, but too soon to love
I’ll be patiently waiting, for my one from above

So Bittersweet....

2010-04-27T08:16:00.000-07:00

If words could describe my feelings, it wouldn’t be so quiet
If I were with you, I could sleep better tonight
If the taste of the end didn’t taste like shit,
I'd kiss you and let you know, I'm true for it
If I didn't scare you when emotions expose
The life of you in me will not let go
The grasp you have on me, without being here
What my feelings tell me is that it’s you I fear
Tired of being hurt, and the laughter filled revenge
I’m not deserving of this, but I’ll sure as hell avenge
What made you forget, what made you this way
The one I love is gone; no longer part of the play
Keep bringing it down, I’ll see you from the top
My head will be in the clouds, sunshine will be nonstop
My dreams I have, keep them from you
I can imagine what I dream, you can’t take those too
Please if you want, just finish what you started
Be gone forever, I never want to be parted
If you could understand, this is quite a long time,
If only you knew what goes through this head of mine
You would pay more attention, but its okay,
You're in my head, and you’re there to stay
I'll take you places with me like my imaginary friend,
Pretend I taste you, instead of this rotten taste that’s the end.

A Friend Of The End

2010-04-26T08:14:00.000-07:00

You can say you’re my friend but you’ll never call
Say you’re my pedestal, but you just make me fall
In my dreams you’re here when I pretend
By my side, hold my hand, and just be my friend
Important to you, I’m now off your list
You’ve written it with blood from my white knuckled fist
From being my family, the next, being gone
You say it feels right, when it's so fucking wrong
I’m between a bullet and its hollow pointed plan
Straight through my back, I've got my heart in my hand
Not finding it at all worth any of my while
This dark scary tunnel stretches on mile after mile
The world is crumbling, the skies soon crashing
I’m coming down like you wanted, with all of your bashing
I just want to be over, just please let me rot
Am I supposed to be happy, when nothing’s what I’ve got?

"Writing Empty Pages Of Life"

2010-04-21T13:01:00.003-07:00

I’ve got to stay strong, I have to believe
That my day will soon come, and she will never leave
The angel to my heaven, making life no longer tough
She'll make everything shimmer, my diamond in the rough
With eyes of the ocean, so endless and free
The body that makes dreams, and all they want to be
She’ll sleep in my arms, as I am her cradle
Such a comfortable life, never felt so stable
She can teach me new love, and show me new light
As this tunnel was dark, it’s never been so bright
Bathe in each other, and let our love soak
Dream about our future, as our past is just a joke
Miss each other daily, how I can’t wait for her touch
Come home to her love, get lost in her so much
I’ll love her laugh that follows her smile
She’s irresistible, and so worth my while
Forget about the negatives, and those who lied
Stand by my girl; I’m forever by her side
We will be our everything, so perfect together
Happiness will flow, and may it stay this way forever
If she’s ever in trouble, my hand I will be lending
Life’s a sad story, with only one happy ending..

Immune.

2010-04-21T13:01:00.001-07:00

Am I at home, or just alone
The ring in my ear won’t stop
Disconnect the telephone

Close my eyes hallucinate
Can I just sleep through it
And wake up to my fate

Can I blink and disappear
Right over the horizon
Can’t wait until I can steer

Want to dream while still awake
My eyes belong to the stars
And my own Heaven I will make

Dust off and polish my mind
Shake out bad memories
I can wait for the one I’ll find

Open windows for my lungs to breathe
Let the sun shine on in
Imagine my past as just the breeze

Doors to the lights swung open wide
Please dim them down low
As time is one thing, I’ve got on my side

Used up and worn like denim
I’ll be guarded
Won’t take another sip of your venom

Scars Are Forever..

2010-04-20T06:51:00.000-07:00

I would’ve seen this coming
If I had eyes in the back of my head
Easier to think of yourself
As I’ll toss, tumble and turn in my makeshift bed
I’ll be fine with this
At least everyone thinks
Go on with my days
Every step I take, the further this heart sinks
Don’t know how you’ll make it
With all the bridges you’ve burned
Our home that you wrecked
Oh sweetheart how the tables have turned
If you could’ve said anything
I’m sure we would have made it
Tumbled up in this mess
Washed up, all your colors faded
No turning back
I hope you think this is fine
So tired of being told no
But won’t give up on tryin’
I’ll find mine
And it will be about me
I’ll cut my ties
How good it feels to be set free
To look into the eyes
I’ve searched the world over
A timeless gaze
Put me drunk in love, I’ll never be sober
Travelling every fork in my road
Discover a new endeavor
Won’t wear my heart on my sleeve
But I’ll remember these scars forever

-Victim-Of-Theft-

2010-04-19T08:16:00.000-07:00

Bring it under
Feel the fighting
Hurt the pain

Roll the thunder
Strike the lightning
Dry the rain
- - - - - - - - - - -
Rip this chest
Pull out the heart
Nothing left

Try my best
Want a new start
A victim of theft
- - - - - - - - - - -
Pay for what’s done
We all move on
What’s next in store?

Can’t keep me from fun
I’ll find what’s gone
Sew up what you tore
- - - - - - - - - - -
Friends in holy places
Love runs deep
Selfishness is shallow

Putting smiles on faces
Never fallen so steep
With a heart so hollow

The Day Reminds Me...

2010-04-14T11:54:00.001-07:00

As the sun rises up, dew on grass sparkles like glitter,
Reminds me of your eyes, and how they'd make me jitter.
The trees are rustling, by the wind of fresh air,
Reminds me of your smell, and the softness in your hair.
Clouds tumbling by, the sky is so blue,
Reminds me of your touch, and all it could do.
The shadows change shape, as the sun goes across,
Reminds me of our times we shared, now every bit of your loss.
The sky shades pink, the lights dim down low,
Reminds me of laying next to you, and the places we would go.
The sun slowly sets over this city's jagged line,
Reminds me this is your sky and not at all mine.
The lightning bugs flicker, as there's crackle from the fire,
Reminds me of love, and how you're all that I desire.
The night grows dark, the stars begin to peek,
Reminds me of emotions shared, as the tears start to leak.
Pitch black in the abyss, crickets are my company,
Reminds me of our love we had, the huge sound of a symphony.
Laying in this void, my eyes are wide shut,
Reminds me of the hearts we had, so full and uncut.
The moon glows in, as the silence settles down,
Reminds me of all you want, as I’ll be renowned.
Creaks in this house, spider’s webs are now spun,
Reminds me of everything, and how everything is done.

Dark-Heart

2010-04-14T11:51:00.000-07:00

The days seem longer as loneliness grows old,
This room is getting bitter, from a heart so cold
Searching for my soul, and all that it needs
Running on fumes, you were the fuel that it feeds
I can do this for me, since you’re nowhere around
Grow myself strong; what was lost is what I’ve found
Hidden beneath all the troublesome thoughts
You’ve given me this, a body full of knots
A head full of visions I don’t want to see
Bars over my mind that I can’t set free
Sleepless nights, chaotic days
A beating heart, turned into a maze
No way out, you can’t turn back
You’ve got me by the heart, and this is what I lack
Answers to it all, to see the finish line
May take years, but with me this is fine.
Out of this I can make a home in this place,
May be hurtful, but I’ll finish this race,
And one way or another, I’ll fix this mangled face.
Distorted from the gossip, torn apart from the lies
Give me something true, it’s the way you love that I despise
Words from your lips, to comfort, and to hold
To let go of all of this, can’t believe your love is sold
Give me a sign along this road of hurt and pain
Sitting on the shoulder, in a downpour of rain
Thinking of this, it’s not going to pass
Deserving this shit’s like a kick in the ass
Can’t function at all, something’s just not right,
I feel like I’m twisted, all from that night
Knotted all up in you, won’t you untie this lace
Tell it to me truly; please respect me with your grace
And when this life’s over, don’t forget who had your side
For I’ll be the one, and in you I will confide.

Prove I Need To Move

2010-04-14T11:47:00.000-07:00

Please let me know that there’s still a little there,
Clear up the dust from this implosion, and fill these lungs with air
Give me a sign, or just turn around,
Leave us at the door, and don’t make a sound.
Please shade these skies white, as I’ve been so blue,
Let me know that I mean what you say I do.
Making me feel like I’m always in the way, or causing a stir,
You want me gone, and I want to know for sure
I can disappear, and fall far from this place,
So quick to decide, I can forever vanish this face.
So happy without me, don’t want to see it as so,
But I’m the one still here; you’ve already let me go.
I’ve got my dog who’s always been my buddy,
To help me soul search, and remind me life gets muddy.
I want to call, I want to hear that voice,
Can’t help my feelings, for they give me no choice.
You made me feel like the biggest person on the planet,
I left myself for you, while others couldn’t stand it.
I had it all, asking for nothing more,
Didn’t ask to be lit and be burnt to the floor.
What are we now, what will we build to make,
It’s not at all what I want, my life is my mistake.
You might not wear your emotions like me,
But I’m caged by you, please set me free.
I want to find my angel, and my sweet taste of heaven,
Please go on, as you’re the one that’s leavin’
I’ll see you from where you can see your sky,
The paint you spread on it, will soon chip and dry,
I can pick up my pieces, but I will leave yours.
You left me at nothing but scrap, with so many open doors,
I’ll grease up my gears, as you left them as rust,
Can’t stomach all of this, so moving on is a must.

Perfectly. Lonely.

2010-04-13T06:46:00.000-07:00

This feeling won’t shake, emotions can’t fade
A bully for my heart, and you added in the jade
Had everything in this world and it was all in my hands
Thoughts of it all fell apart and what happened to the plans
I feel like an obstacle and I’m always in your way
Of your love I’m just a hurdle, just to step over
Drunk from my love, I can’t hate being sober
Learning from the mess, and picking it apart
Seeing who I am, which you have yet to start
Burning every bridge that you walk across
Shattering every heart; shards on the floor are your loss
Feet bleeding from this journey, love puddles with time
Light headed from my face being rubbed in your design
So many questions unanswered, obviously a little late
Already shoved over, can’t accept this as my fate
Go ahead and walk over this, without a single care
Pretend that you do, but I just can’t see it in your stare
Please go on, and do to me now what you held back
I’m dead to you now, just zip up the sack
Give me peace by myself, I can be my only
Lost in this world, but I’m perfectly lonely
I can find what I need, don’t want to see you
Hurt is all I’m promised now, can’t believe in what you do
If you still cared and it’s what you want to show
You would turn this all around and find a better way to go
Now that you think you’re finished, when you’re nowhere close
I’ll answer my own, open the lid to questions that I’ll overdose
When these stricken eyes close, they will make you wonder
I’ve searched my soul over, and all I found was thunder
This electric feeling that I share with only me
Is not at all selfish, just being begged to be
Held by chains, and locked by words
These hands can’t feel even to feed the birds
Fluttering in my stomach, lashing as the pain fills
Wanting out of this, it’s this feeling here that kills

"Wings of Life"

2010-04-07T08:49:00.000-07:00

This wrench in my heart, thrown into my gears
I’m stuck here, after all of these years
Grown to learn, taught to be strong
Think before I act now, and do no wrong
Walking in these shoes, you’ll step off the road
With love these laces are tied and soles are sewed
Live for one, and die for all
Love is just a dial tone, waiting for a call
Got love in my pocket, ready for the fun
While you live and dream next to your someone
Pick up where you left off, I’ll take my bags
I’ll leave you where you left me, no riches just rags
Built my own sky so gorgeous so blue
Where the sun is always bright, but still cloudy on you
Please heavens let go of this angel I will meet
I need my head cleared and put back on my feet
These wings are young, soon they will grow
Fly away from here, dream of places I’ll go
The ocean is endless, until you meet the shore
Dry up in the sun, your heart will grow sore
Glide overhead and higher I will rise
The wind underneath me, to blow away these lies
A lot has changed ever since that day
Forks in the road, I can find my own way
And when I reach where I am to be on this journey
You’ll see what you left; now lessons I’m learning
The pictures you left, stapled to the walls of my soul
Feelings you had, now just an empty bowl
The world is mine, overflowing in my hands
Letting nothing slip through, these are my plans
To bring others smiles, to make life brighter
A lonely loner, but a good fucking fighter
My heart is on the rise, ready to take flight
I’ll see you later, I just won’t be in sight

Ink-Stained-Letters

2010-04-06T07:59:00.000-07:00

This life is starting over, hope it really is for the better
No turning back now from where we go on, this will be just another letter
I write them to you to get through the day and grind
Hoping what you see is in them, is just what I find
And when that day is over this ink will dry
For the sun will set and stars fill the sky
Dreams will be my tablet at night
The moon will shed love, for it is my light
My words are for you, these rhymes from my heart
Every time I begin, this feeling will start
The earthquake in my chest, this storm that's in my fingers
I try to cherish it, for here is where it lingers
I’ll etch until I find just who you are
I can’t figure this out alone, but I’m sure I’ll get far
Escaping where I’m stuck, I’ll run until the end
I’ll be forever gone, but these letters I will send
You can read them, just hope you remember
The good times, the great, like that day in December
What you learned, where we went, and all that was us
Moving mountains to climb to the top then crumble to dust
You can let go now, to sink in the sand
I think I can do it, just need to find a hand
To stand me up and carry me like I did you
Take me to the edge of the world, just a push will do
I’ll go further than you thought, my drive’s so high
Can’t keep up, like what you say, it’s a lie
In the end is where we’ll meet but I’ll be fine
Getting over this is better, than actually seeing the sign
I can look out for myself, and the good that surrounds
You can’t see much, or hear the beautiful sounds
I’ll leave you with these letters, and here I’ll let them soak
I’d keep writing more, but this pen’s almost broke.

After.All

2010-04-02T07:00:00.001-07:00

Must not want much, or even a friend
Never thought this soon would be the end
A life so precious, memories to share for miles
Not sure what to do with it all, no longer bringing smiles
I’ve bottled it up, all my personal issues
But once I let this out, you won’t have enough tissues
Can’t believe you can go this long
Where did I turn off, where did I go wrong?
To me you did this, who gave you the nerve
So short, over so quick, this is what I deserve?
Good luck on you search, hope you find what you need
I gave it my all; you were too starving to feed
Glad I meant so much and you can up and leave like this
Rub it in my face, kick me I’m down just hit me with your fist
You want me to be there but you can’t tell me a word
If you can do this to me, what else is on your list that’s so absurd?
I can’t trust someone who can bring hell to my door
Buckle my knees and shoot me to the floor
Don’t want to bother don’t want to interfere
But I’m so lost without answers, this is everything I fear
There’s someone out there for me, like you have found
I can see the angels now, please take my feet off this ground
Take me away where I can drift off
With you as my fuel, this heart will lift off
The city in the sky the world in my hands
Can’t think of our future, now just ruined plans
Quit reminding me of what we could be
Take it away, I don’t want to see
What you do next is beyond my control
Keep knocking me down, just burning my soul
Please tell me you care, I need to feel your touch
Can’t move without a heart, I no longer have a crutch
So sorry for who I am, or what I have done
I will never know, I’ll take the rain, just leave with the sun

"Light Chasing"

2010-04-01T07:39:00.001-07:00

Another day down and still no call
It’s been so long, this demand is growing tall
The days go by, but time has just sat still
Won’t you answer the ring in my ears, I hope that you will
Just pull your map of life out and tell me where to go
The direction we’re headed is so far off and low
What happened to what you had for me and all the little things?
You swept them under a rug while my heart still clings
You think it’s alright and we’re all made up
You sleep in peace while at night I stayed up
Dream of your future while I hallucinate
Try all you want, I’ll still be here in wait
Untie these laces and put these shoes back on
Let’s break these things in with each other we belong
I’ve got no answers to all of your hate
Display it towards me; I’ll put it on my slate
Just another dilemma, you can pile it and stack
You can’t force me to fall out of this; I’ll always have your back
Please shut the door so I know this is it
What I did in this world to deserve all this shit
Stricken with guilt of how to prevent
Gone so fast couldn’t show you my intent
This house is so empty, feels just like my chest
Leave with it all, and take out my best
Put the clouds in my skies, and the rain in my day
Put the lightning in my mind and the thunder where I lay
Drop the wrench in my gears of what I call living
I’ll take it all with me, as forever I’ve been giving
Please give me a hand and help me with myself
I write you with my heart, which you put on a shelf
Let the dust pile up I’ll blow it all off
Smile and laugh, while I choke and cough
You think it will blow over and simply be done
I think you’re crazy but so does everyone

~I'm Bent~

2010-03-31T09:16:00.000-07:00

To have so much anger, to hold so much hate
To know what you wanted wasn’t what I thought as great
To rid yourself of me and to cancel it out
It’s all on your shoulders, as you’re what I’m all about
Never thought you would want to be so far
Like a distant planet, an exploding star
Supernova in my heart, solar waves shoot through
I just can’t seem to get away from you
Escape to the place I know so well
Won’t you wonder where it is, this heart I will sell
Worth more than anything and intended for an angel
Mine will go with me when I leave will you be able
Strong for a war, tough for a fight
I’ll never know what you have set in sight
Bent backwards over you and made everything work
To your benefit for nothing, and you call me the jerk
Just stopped caring, but still in my ear
Wonder why I won’t call, you’re all of my fear
Wishing for our book to have a few more pages
Take the key from my heart you have, and unlock these cages
You want forgiveness, I’ll give you nothing
That’s what I’m left with, only you I’m still loving
Drowning me out, and digging me down
God what I’d do to see you in your gown
Couldn’t imagine that day of my life
Where we were made, and you were my wife
I’ll dream of the day, I’m destined to find
The one for me, I’ll always be behind
Sitting alone I think of the past
Let it tear me apart, oh how it happened so fast
We’ll just keep it proper and straight down to Earth
Not dream of the future, or our first birth
Don’t look down upon me when I can’t stand up
Still struggling on this wound, how it came so abrupt.

Heart in Your Hands

2010-03-30T13:23:00.000-07:00

When will you call when will we speak
Ripping my seams, it’s been more than a week
Afraid I’ll take it hard, just tell me what you’re to do
My heart is still in your hands; it still beats so deep for you
When I try to talk, my voice cracks up
The steps I take forward, still constantly backs up
The constant reminder that you’re so far gone
Has me up at night, all until dawn
The scars hurt I think they always will
Instead of helping me through, you’re just like a pill
Wash me down, spit me out
Save me for last but please don’t shout
Don’t make fun of me, don’t curse in my face
Just take everything with you and leave this place
Talk of your fun, and the rainbow you’re riding
The mirage is all but real; you’ll see this in my writing
Swim to the end of the ocean, chase down the sun
It won’t be there, will I? That time’s about to come
The more I write you, the more I see the sign
This love I had for you is endless, forever it’s divine
Can’t run this life, when I’m in this hole
Don’t charge me to heaven, I’ve paid my toll
Bury me deep, so you can’t feel me at all
I’ll be the chill in your spine, and the catch of your fall
It may be sunny but it’s all so dark
As the days go by; I feel I missed my mark
I’ll call you lucky, for the last of my love
Who will watch you here, while I watch you from above?
No one will know me quite like my girl
You were my one, the one who could make me unfurl
Don’t know what to expect from you, but I hope it’s not hurt
So sick of this feeling, I’m always on alert
How bold will you get, your ego is growing
Put the blades on low, this relationship’s what you’re mowing

Start of a Good Day...

2010-03-30T09:03:00.001-07:00

Today could be a good day I guess I’ll find out
What it is I’m wanting from this and what it’s all about
Sometime soon I’ll fall like petals from a rose
And the door you left open, you’ll soon slam close
And when you come to my mind I hope that I can fly
For you give me wings that I need, just to get by
No one can ever replace this huge void
Never meant for you to feel this way, or to be annoyed
To the one I love and care so deep for
This heart has taken its beating and it’s pulsing so sore
Every time I think of you I can’t help but shake
The feeling of you gone, is a thought I can’t take
I still kiss you goodnight and hug you good morning
When I close my eyes dream kisses send me soaring
I will still pat you till sleep until I dream away
Right by your side, dreams about you will always stay
You can go on and do what you please
You’ve taken my heart, but I have the keys
To start again is unseen, but the future is in park
Soon the lights will shatter; your head explodes in the dark
Once I know what it is that you want from me
I’ll leave you with nothing like you and just leave it be
I want a line drawn so I know where to start
So I can pour this salt to melt all the ice on your heart
Drink the water that keeps you here
Everything I do, I’ll always live in fear
To know what I’ve fallen for will simply not suffice
To be picked back up by you would be a sacrifice
Bring me out of this hole so I can see some light
Don’t give me hope, just tell me I’m alright
To feel the way I do, you can’t change my mind
I’ll do this for you, just like everything behind
What memories we shared, what life could’ve been
Hope you can live with yourself and all of this sin.

Wake Up to the Shake Up!

2010-03-30T08:59:00.002-07:00

When I wake up, I’ll never see your face
When I’m cold or scared, you’ll never be that warm embrace
That smile, your dimples, those cute puffy cheeks
Never to be touched again, this is more than a few weeks
The smell of your neck, how it smelt like a baby
Softness of your skin, the light in your eye can drive me crazy
The little things you did, just to make my day
Have all just ended, you crumbled them up and threw them away
The hugs you gave made everything clear
Waking up to you, we can no longer share a mirror
The feel of your kiss, the hope that it would show
Couldn’t say goodbye, because you thought you had to go
The perk in your voice, the spring in your step
Keeping me awake until the morning has crept
This will be great for you, I’ll take the worst
I’m the one with the weight as if I’ve been cursed
Thanks for the support as you haven’t given any
Thanks for the hug, as if one for you was just one too many
A pocketful full of dreams I trusted to you
To be thrown on the ground, what all will you do
Stuck in my back and right through my heart
Twisted and pulled this knife is the start
Something new, this is not what I desired
We’re so destroyed, once so awe-inspired
The cutest of them all, the future was so close
Couldn’t wait to share it with you, no longer will we toast
Our first dance, will all be but a dream
The honeymoon I planned, will no longer make you scream
The names we picked out, I can’t say them again
Can’t die by your side, I’ll be close but you won’t want in
The breakdown of me will never be rebuilt
Stricken with lies, you filled me with guilt
Keep looking for that light, the sky’s so blue
True to my word, I’d still die to save you

What is This?

2010-03-30T08:59:00.001-07:00

Please let me say one thing before you get mad
I seriously didn’t think we were off this bad
Such a great team, what we went through, what times we shared
I thought we were safe, what life lie ahead, we never even cared
I couldn’t ask for more, everything I wanted, nothing else in this world
All day long, thoughts and dreams of you swirled
Never wanted you off my mind, so happy when you were here
You were my window to the world where I could see ever so clear
We had promises forever, and trust to last till death
So faithful I was, such a fragile girl, could’ve broken with a breath
Such a calm spirit, so easy to bring cheer
We’ve helped each other grow, we watched each other live
Together what we did, I’d do it all again, everything I’d give
What am I to do, with all that I’ve kept?
So close to my heart such a part of my soul
Your hearts somewhere else, to find it is my goal
Want to show you the way this is all supposed to go
Questions unanswered, there’s nothing that I know
Can I take your hand, guide you through this part
So you can describe to me, what you feel deep in your heart
Please take the knife out and clean up the cuts
Sew it all up, and fill in the ruts
All I could imagine was everything I’d wished
Heaven on Earth is true; this is exactly what I’ve missed
The feeling of love, the belief of such faith
Say goodbye to it all, and say hello to the wraith
Can’t believe you see this as right, that this is all okay
The way you’ve done things spoils the end of each good day
At least this makes you happy as this is what I strive
Just want the feel of your touch, you can bring me alive
What a wonderful time, how pleasant a dream
What a perfect story, how perfect it did seem
Wish I would’ve known, instead of you I would dwell
While you planned of something better, just wanting out of this hell

It's Gone.

2010-03-30T08:57:00.001-07:00

I’m sorry you fell out of love with me baby
I’m falling too, but not for a lady
Going down deep and I can’t see the bottom
All the feelings I’ve had, you took and you shot em’
Bleeding through my veins, the blood is still blue
What I would give just to make us brand new
Don’t want to go home so empty so cold
So alone in the dark, so scared of this fold
You’ve torn what was mine and took it away
I have no answers, so I have nothing to say
Wish you could know just how this feels
Wouldn’t wish this upon you, you’re my glue that seals
I’m held together by you and falling apart
Can’t even sleep in bed don’t know where to start
Want your care; my God I need you close
You are my medicine that I just can’t overdose
Don’t say any less, don’t take anymore
Say we can do this, and be better than before
Don’t hurt what I hear that you say you love
Just look to the sky and know I’m above
Flying high, just like we were
I’ll wish you were here, for what I know is a blur
Your eyes are my fuel that barely keeps me going
Your smile’s in my mind, for mine will not be showing
Anytime soon I’ll see the light you see
Only mine will take me further and I plead it sets me free
If I can’t be with you now, and you say never
I’ll see you soon, and you’ll know better
Promises broken, and lies through the teeth
What have you done, I’ll show you what’s beneath
You’ve done what you wanted, plus a little more
Can’t wait to be finished off, so tired being a chore
Wish I could take whatever I did back
You could forgive me for what I did; it’s all of you that I lack

Show You What You Are

2010-03-30T08:56:00.002-07:00

Want me to leave you alone with what you have left me
I’ll try to take what I have walk where I can’t see
For you’ve left me no light or hope to thrive upon
I want to stay and you think you don’t belong
Do what you please; I’ve left it for you to take
To be the one I love is a decision you can’t make
You’ll fall down and scrape your knees
Hands tormented from feeling, for you my heart bleeds
Don’t want to see you hurt but to see what you’ve done
I’ll want to leave you there, but I can’t be the only one
We can share what we’ve learned, and the scars that we wear
Will you please let me in, this built up wall I’ll tear
To be with you is a dream now; it’s something in my sleep
You’re still always by my side, this ghost of you I’ll keep
Keeping me sane, from just losing it all
Don’t take anymore from me; my knees can’t handle the fall
When I think of you I sob, and I’m sure not the same
I can’t even keep it together, just to say your name
All we had, and the future that was bright
You clouded it up dark, all in one night
Move on without me, and don’t even talk
Showing me how you care, and dragging me while you walk
Go find what you’re looking for, so sad you passed it on
Everything you wanted, you said goodbye to and want gone
I’ll give you just that, to satisfy you
My life’s dependant on that, I told you I was true
I have to settle for the less if it’s you I can’t have
Need you in my life; you’re the voice that makes me laugh
You’re the tears in my eyes, the ring in my ears
The itch on my nose, and the biggest of my fears
So scared of what you can do, please let me down slow
Let go of my hands, and I’ll watch you go
Want to walk with you, in your journey of life
I’d give it all up baby, as I saw you as my wife

Forever.Feeling..

2010-03-30T08:56:00.001-07:00

You’re forcing yourself away from me and this is your dream
Let you do what you want as you’re the only person on the team
Working to find the light, the goal, and your needs
As you slit the wrists of the hand that feeds
What will you do when you finally realize
You lost what you found, the regrets you’ll despise.
Drink it away with all the shared memories
Sober up and flourish like springtime trees
Breeze through the tough and hurtful words
You said it felt right flying away with the birds
You’ll get shot down much sooner than later
You’re already remembered, but I couldn’t miss you greater.
I’ll pretend you’re dead, just to make it by
I’ve lost all my tears, no longer can I cry.
Need to be picked up, and set back on my feet
So sad you won’t, but I think I’m just beat
You dug me a hole that I climbed right in
I fell so hard, just for you to laugh and grin
Maybe soon you’ll come to your senses
You’ll put down you fists and tear down your fences
Let me in to show you what forever is like:
Beyond your wildest, the lightning will strike
Your mind will be shocked and your body will tremble
Your knees will buckle as you hear the crash of the cymbal
Your arms will cripple you’ll fall to the ground
I’ll pick you up so you can see what’s around
This is eternity; this is what we lived for
And to say that I love you, will not be for you to ignore
Your stomach will be full of tiny flying critters
We’ll never be known as the unfaithful quitters.
We’ll lie together as we tingle from head to toe,
This is forever baby; I just wanted you to know…

One Day...

2010-03-23T07:32:00.000-07:00

One day everything can be fine
The next, it’s all on the line
What you’ve done can’t be forgiven
You make it so hard to be livin
If this is what you’ve wanted it could’ve been over
A lot sooner than it takes you to get sober
I’ve bent over backwards and made ends meet
For a knife to come in and make it all bleed
One day I’ll be better without you
I’ll be gone altogether and this is what you do
I’d do it all to make you happy and to keep you content
I’m giving it all up you and every word is what I meant
Love doesn’t treat you like this nor will it ever
It’s not like you and the heads that you’ll sever
Want it to be better, then this is what I’ll leave
Don’t say you can’t stand what you wanted to conceive
Your actions speak of regret and infidelity
Your unbelievable lies just set in, now I have validity
I’ll be leaving soon to give you what you want
I’ve done what I can to get you through the grunt
This is for you and everything you mean
To this guy who had it for you, the view is not green
It’s covered in silt and the damage is done
My view is distorted and lost all its sun
You’ve clouded the future and what we had built
Just torn it all down and the rain makes me wilt
As I settle for what you’ve left and commit to the unthinkable
Won’t you try to hold on to what I can’t, it’s made me sinkable
The lower I go the more I’m falling for you
I say what I can’t to others, but you can’t say it too
Speak of our future just days before you drop me
Kids, love, marriage it’s all blinded; now I can’t see.
What you’ve done will haunt me, will it you too
I hope to God it does, along with all that you’ll continue.